Ever Present Shepherd

"The Lord is My Shepherd, I Shall Not Want" (Psalm 23)

I spent the past week in the woods of Northern Wisconsin at Honey Rock, a camp owned by Wheaton College. Each August, every Wheaton student leader gathers for an entire week of prayer, vision casting, play, and worship. Its incredible to be surrounded by 200 passionate campus leaders that are devoted to Jesus and serving the student body.

One facet of Honey Rock is an overnight adventure in the wilderness with your team. I confess that this is the day that I most dread. While my husband feels very "at home" in the woods, I am not as comfortable, especially when he isn't present. I feel safe camping with my husband because he is extremely capable. Since he wasn't able to come to Honey Rock, I found myself agonizing about the overnight. On the morning of the our overnight, I went for an early morning run and found myself praying that God would help me as I did not know how lead others in a context in which I feel incapable, inexperienced, and unknowledgeable. Secretly, I hoped God would answer my prayer by sending severe thunderstorms so the trip would be canceled entirely. Instead, God sent perfect weather and used Psalm 23 to assure me that He is my Shepherd and would fulfill my needs.

Instead of hiking, our team opted for a two-hour canoe ride to our campsite. As an avid runner, I can hike for miles, but I have no upper body strength! I started the trip very aware of my weakness as I took frequent breaks from canoeing while my students showed incredible endurance. As the discomfort in my arms increased, I tried to comfort myself with the knowledge that the campsite would be familiar. Our team camped there last year. It was a typical campsite, with a cleared area for tents and the campfire. The setup was quite simple. I started feeling more peace as I saw our campsite in the distance when much to my surprise, our canoe stopped on the shores of a bluff. Change of plans. We would be camping on the bluffs this year. As we unloaded the packs and ascended the hill to the campsite, I was shocked to discover that our "campsite" was the forest. There was no space cleared for a campfire or tents, instead, there were bushes and trees everywhere. Perhaps this was a mistake. While I had no vision for how we could create a campsite, some of my students suggested that we could flatten some ferns and set up tents on top of them. This took my camping experience to an entire new level and thus, way out of my comfort zone. I appointed one of my students as the leader and she proceeded to teach myself and four other female RAs how to set up a tent. An hour later, it was incredible to see how this wooded area had been transformed into a campsite with 4 tents and a beautiful fire pit. Furthermore, we did not see any mosquitoes which is unheard of, especially being in the woods.

The overnight revealed that I find too much comfort and safety in feeling strong, capable, and adequate. I often despise my weakness. Jesus, the Good Shepherd, does not despise my weakness. My weakness stirs His compassion. He yearns to help. Rather than struggling to disguise or deny weakness (my tendency), God wants us to come to Him when we are weak and weary. As I learned on my overnight, God desires to richly bless us through our weakness, revealing that He is our ever-present Shepherd.