Jehovah Jihreh

(Katie) God desires to reveal Himself to us in every season of life. I am learning as I enter into a new season to ask the God, "who do you want me to see you as in this season?" This past year, James and I both came to know God as our defender, the one who went before us, prepared a way, and fought battles on our behalf. Its amazing the how the specific attribute of God's character revealed in a particular season becomes the focal point of your testimony and will often become the way through which you give God glory in the midst of your own story. As James and I have prayed in this new season of marriage & Wheaton, we believe God is going to teach us about being our Jehovah Jihreh "The Lord will be provide." Already in the past month, we can testify to several of God's incredible provisions. Today, through an incredible series of events, God is revealing Himself yet again as our provider in opening some incredible doors for James in the areas of work and school. I am in awe of how God orchestrates things and caused us to increase our trust in Him as our provider and today proved Himself faithful. I am purposely being vague as I will let James share this incredible testimony soon. But, my question today is who is God revealing Himself to you as in season? Ask the Lord and I would encourage you to start praying and declaring that specific name over your circumstances. James and I have seen the power of praying the different names of God over this past year. Below is a list, specifically of Old Testament names of God. I included verses as praying Scripture is also incredibly powerful.

ELOHIM......Genesis 1:1, Psalm 19:1

meaning "God", a reference to God's power and might.

ADONAI......Malachi 1:6

meaning "Lord", a reference to the Lordship of God.

JEHOVAH--YAHWEH.....Genesis 2:4

a reference to God's divine salvation.

JEHOVAH-MACCADDESHEM.......Exodus 31:13

meaning "The Lord thy sanctifier"

JEHOVAH-ROHI......Psalm 23:1

meaning "The Lord my shepherd"

JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH.......Ezekiel 48:35

meaning "The Lord who is present"

JEHOVAH-RAPHA.........Exodus 15:26

meaning "The Lord our healer"

JEHOVAH-TSIDKENU......Jeremiah 23:6

meaning "The Lord our righteousness"

JEHOVAH-JIREH.........Genesis 22:13-14

meaning "The Lord will provide"

JEHOVAH-NISSI.........Exodus 17:15

meaning "The Lord our banner"

JEHOVAH-SHALOM........Judges 6:24

meaning "The Lord is peace"

JEHOVAH-SABBAOTH......Isaiah 6:1-3

meaning "The Lord of Hosts"

JEHOVAH-GMOLAH........Jeremiah 51:6

meaning "The God of Recompense"

EL-ELYON..............Genesis 14:17-20,Isaiah 14:13-14

meaning "The most high God

EL-ROI................Genesis 16:13

meaning "The strong one who sees"

EL-SHADDAI............Genesis 17:1,Psalm 91:1

meaning "The God of the mountains or God Almighty"

EL-OLAM...............Isaiah 40:28-31

meaning "The everlasting God"

Pitied More Than Men: Counting the Cost

"If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men" (1 Corn 15:9)

(Katie) If you woke up tomorrow, and found out that there was in fact no resurrection, how would you feel about the life that you had chosen to live? 

Dr. Setran's question tonight absolutely rocked me. If you are like me, your initial response to this question will be to immediately start justifying the life that you've chosen through a list of values or virtues that are manifested in your life. Our list of virtues compiles and for most of us, in our final analysis, we would argue that YES we've lived our life quite well. 

I was feeling good until I had to wrestle with Paul's words, particularly his description of Christians as being "pitied" more than all men. Set our list of virtues aside. Yes, I've loved well, but can I (we) say this? Can you look at the life that you are currently living and say..."if only for THIS LIFE, I have HOPE in CHRIST, I am PITIED MORE than all men." Does your life reflect this?

If you're reading this blog, you most likely are similar to me in that you would consider yourself a follower of Jesus. You probably are actively involved in a church. You probably have a substantial Christian Resume that you secretly pride yourself on. My friends, we have MISSED it. We are called to live RADICALLY. We are called to count the COST of forsaking everything to follow Christ. We are called to be PITIED...to SUFFER.  In what ways are you choosing to live your life in such a way that you CHOOSE to SUFFER for Christ? 

We are to be PITIED more than all men.

As Philippians 2: 5-7 says:

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
 Who, being in very nature God,
      did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
 but made himself nothing,
      taking the very nature of a servant,
      being made in human likeness.
 And being found in appearance as a man,
      he humbled himself 
      and became obedient to death—
         even death on a cross! 

These verses reveal two of Christ's actions, primarily that in His humiliation (pity), He made himself "nothing." 'Nothing' in this passage literally means "emptied himself." When I think of Christ emptying himself in this context, I think of it as Him choosing to give up His glory. How often do we choose to empty ourselves of receiving the glory? 

 Secondly, Christ was "obedient to death," even "death on a cross." This implies that Christ voluntarily chose humiliation. If we really call ourselves Christ followers, in what ways do we daily chose the path of humiliation? The harder question is if following Jesus required you to experience such substantial humiliation, would you still choose to follow him?

Are you willing to be transformed into Christlikeness...to abide with Him in the deeper places of suffering and pity? To empty yourself of the need to receive the glory? 


Look at your current life? Is there a COST to the life that you are choosing to live as a proclaimed follower of Jesus? What is the COST? 


As Christ followers, our lives should RADICALLY reflect that the COST of suffering is WORTH knowing Jesus. 


What is Christ really WORTH to you?

Sibsational

[James] My dad grew up as an only child. He once told us boys that we didn't know how lucky we were to have brothers and that we ought to not take them for granted...

This past weekend Katie and I have the great joy of spending some incredible quality time with each of our younger siblings. Alison came into town for the weekend to catch a concert with Katie and she happened to be our very first overnight guest here in our apartment. Some of the highlights were biking around the towns, thrift store shopping, dinner at Honey, breakfast Saturday morning, Sushi before the concert and numerous heart to hearts about life, love, faith and family. There was no shortage of laughter between our story telling, exchanging of our favorite jokes and you tube videos. I LOVE HAVING SISTERS! It brought me so much joy to see Alison and Katie connect as sisters. I further realized that there are places that I cannot reach Katie, nor was I designed to reach her. Seeing the way that she and her sister would process and connect was so beautiful and I could see how life giving it was for Katie; she felt known and she felt connected to a family that I could not alone provide for her.


On the way to the concert we swung through downtown Chicago to pick up my brother, Bryan. We got to check out his incredible digs in the warehouse where he and his film-business has set up shop. The four of us then went for sushi, which was amazing, and again we held the richest of conversations. During the concert, my brother and I went near by to hang out for a while and we were able to talk more about our past, where we have been over the past several years, and where we dream of going in the next. It was powerful to speak of each of our brokeness and then even more so to realize that the brokeness we have is shared because of the places we have come from.

There is healing in relationship.
There is brokeness that comes from relationship.
How ironic that God uses the same medium to bring us healing as the things that cause us pain.

I am so thankful for families and for the new families that Katie and I now get to share with one another.

Kindred Spirits

(Katie)

I am in the process of training to run a half marathon with Isaac, one of the RA's that I am mentoring this year. We are taking the definition of discipleship quite literally, living it out for an entire 13.1 miles. Running is my time of communion with God. I pray, listen, and talk to God. Its life giving for my soul.  This morning as I ran, my heart was heavy with sorrow as I finally had emotional space to name the fact that I am missing my community in Minnesota. I miss "feeling known"... the gift of being known so deeply that you don't have to explain what you need when you are tired, discouraged, or anxious. Or the gift of being able to celebrate the mini victories throughout the day with people who know your crap. Lord, where are my "Kindred Spirits," as Anne of Green Gables refers to it?

In the midst of mourning those deep connections (which can and will be maintained long distance) and praying, I felt convicted that I am entering into a season where God wants to teach me about the diversity of His body. Thus far, I've spent most of my life connecting with people who look, sound, and are passionate about the same things that I am. "Behold, I am doing a new thing......do you not perceive it" (Isaiah 43:19)" No Lord, I have't perceived "it" or "the way" that You are making for me (v.19).

As I've walked with the Lord, something I've learned is that you can't fail any of God's tests, you simply get to retake them (over and over). In The Shack, the character of God talks about how He knows that it may take a person 46 times before they learn the truth He is trying to teach them. Each time they miss it, God still celebrates because it will only take 45 more times until they get it. God loves the process and finds value in the journey. So even when I mentally beat myself up on the treadmill, realizing I've missed this truth yet again, God is still rejoicing over me and my mini-breathrough.

In fact, not only is He rejoicing, He is gracious...providing opportunities for me to apply what I've learned throughout the day. When I got home from running, I opened my computer and received an incredible word of encouragement from a woman at church that I judged. This woman proved to be very attuned with the Spirit and spoke refreshing words of life to my soul that ministered to the deeper places. Yes, can use anyone. Later, I went for a walk with an incredible woman of God who has been very intentional in reaching out to me and wanting to get to know me. At first, I was nervous to hang out, feeling emotionally over burdened and exhausted.  But, I went. Anne provided breathing room for my soul. She blessed me, allowing me to process some deep pride issues that I keep rubbing up against. I left our time together feeling refreshed and cared for in the dark, ugly places of my soul. Finally, dinner with K Dove, my Honey Rock soul mate. This friend of mine is the epitome of wisdom and depth. One of those rare gems that you secretly want to have a notebook with when you meet with them because their words are so profound. The love of Jesus oozes out of her. She also has been a phenomenal mirror for me in helping me to look honestly at myself. As we laughed and processed the gift and craziness of Residence Life, I felt grateful that God has provided a friend who meets me in the beauty and messiness of my new life as well as the deeper places.

If I humble myself, God can use ANYONE to speak truth, encourage, and if I am courageous enough to let down my wall...actually enter into the beauty and mess that is my life. God is relentless. He wants ALL of us. He will stop at nothing to show His love for us. Often, He comes to us in the form of others...our kindred spirits and most often, and in the most profound of ways, the people we would least expect...like the woman at church you judged.

Be open....God's doing a new thing....do you not perceive it yet?

Banana Bread

[James] As Katie and I celebrate our one month anniversary today I can't help but spend some time in reflection. As I look upon the home that we have now built together, the pictures of us, the plants, the shared belongings, the meal that we made together and now the warm banana bread that is about to come out of the oven, I love who we are, who Katie is, and who I am... and who we are becoming.

My friend Aaron once told me these timeless words, "We never arrive."

I wish there was a verse in the Bible that stated something like, "And I pray that you may be microwaved and nuked in Love and that in 1 minute, after the push of a button, you would come out ready."If there were a verse like that, I would have made that our wedding theme. The truth is no one likes waiting, and I have found this out about myself recently in regards to me and my ability to be patient with myself. Although I never said it aloud, I believe now that there has been some lie that I have believed, that one day I would arrive into the person that I wanted to be; the person that God had called me to be. But it doesn't happen that way.

I like things that are very concrete in that I can control the variables and as a result affect the outcome... Since we have been married I have loved our bikes, working on them and optimizing their performance. I have loved decorating because it is as simple as you dream it and you actualize it. I have also loved setting up our blog because, again, with enough manipulation of html and texts, we have created a nice piece of cyberspace.

I strongly dislike that one cannot so easily apply these same methodologies to oneself. Though I tend to be an idealist and I can picture what a "completed James" would look like, think like, act like and love like, I am so far from it. And the methodology is not so easy as dreaming it and actualizing it. The truth, that I have come to is that we as human beings are more complex than that, and we are not meant to be nuked and eaten in under one minute. We have been designed for eternity. Funny that I get frustrated when I take a year to see improvement in an area such as patience, self esteem, inner security, gentleness or self control.

What I have been finding is that we are, as the Bible says; trees firmly planted, cedars, planted near the river, the product of seeds, rooted and established... we are always growing, but never arriving. I have found that I have spent 26 years sowing seeds, many of them good. Those good seeds have allowed me to love myself and Katie well. Other seeds, the bad ones, have been points of frustration fro both Katie and I. These bad seeds have been patterns I have established, practices I have normalized, lies that I bought into, habits that have been passed down. And just as they took years to be sown and grown, they seem to be taking years to undo and to sow new seeds in their place. The process seems as unnatural and frustrating as learning a new sport, instrument, skill or language. There are times when I literally have to tell myself to do the exact opposite of what I "feel" at the time. I have to act on truth. I have to believe upon Wisdom. I have to embrace Love.

Just moments ago, I heard a beep and suddenly a loaf of banana bread arrived from the oven. So many times this month I wish that I were like a loaf of bread or better yet a hot pocket, but alas, I am a man. And a good man indeed. I have not arrive, nor will I ever-this side of heaven, and even then I pray that I have things to learn. I have seen however, like the buds of new flowers planted almost a month ago, signs of growth, proof of life, and evidence that God is all the time parenting me and causing me to be conformed more and more into the likeness of His Son.

Thank you Katie for providing me with safe space to grow.
Thank you for helping me in my weeding.
Thank you for sowing new seeds in me.
Thank you for being Rooted and Established in Love... next to me.

A few reasons why I love James....(today)

(Katie)

I am sitting in our family room, looking at this old window that I found at an antique shop in downtown Wheaton which James transformed into an incredible picture frame filled with some of our recent wedding pictures. I absolutely love it. Watch out Pottery Barn, my husband is pretty amazing. One of the things that I love about James is that he takes initiative in doing creative, intentional projects like this one just because he knows that I will look at that window several times throughout the day, smile, and be reminded of how much he loves me.

This morning, 10 minutes before we were supposed to leave for graduate school orientation...I am a bit anxious, frantically getting ready...the fire alarm goes off (#2)....immediately I am racing to get up stairs to help get the freshman outside....on the way out the door, he hands me a cup of coffee to go while I wait for the fire trucks...just the way I like it......

Later, post fire trucks, I am now on bicycle (his idea), riding behind James, through campus, to our orientation...appreciating his adventurous Spirit and SO grateful that he knows me well enough to know that getting me outside, even for 5 minutes to encounter God through nature will help to calm my nerves....

And finally, having James by my side, as we (together) listen, then counsel, then celebrate a student's victory in the midst of a difficult family situation....my ministry partner........

I share all of these illustrations to encourage any married women out there to take time to SLOW DOWN...notice the little things that your husband does, says, or even the effect of his presence in your life, and don't tell your girlfriends, tell HIM.

Babe, I love you.

Poverty: Reflections on Hospitality

(Katie) Today for Sabbath, James suggested that we bike to Adams' park in downtown Wheaton, bring a blanket, and a backpack full of books... spend some time together in silence, basking in the rays and the wisdom of our favorite authors. (His suggestion is yet another example of why marrying James was the best decision of my life). Immediately, I raced to get my pile of books....Henri Nouwen...Anne Lamott, and some Wendell Berry. I absolutely love dabbling back and forth between three authors, processing three different voices, and finding connections.

So I am sitting on my blanket, next to my husband, in a beautiful refuge of a park, and naturally I grab for Nouwen who is a hero of mine.

The topic of hospitality was on my heart, specifically, the question of: What makes a good host? Narcissistically, am I a good host? This past Friday night James and I hosted all of the freshman living in Fischer Hall (all 400 rotated coming over) and naturally, I was still processing how I thought the night went.

 One of the reasons I love Nouwen is his impeccable timing. I open my book and read, "poverty makes a good host" (Inward Journey, p.103). I don't think I've read a more paradoxical statement. But, naturally, Nouwen expects me to respond to his statement this way and so he continues, "in order to be able to reach out to the other in freedom, two forms of poverty are very important, the poverty of mind and the poverty of heart" (p.103). Somehow, warm banana bread, French press, and a clean, well decorated living room did not make Nouwen's list...all of things that I was preoccupied with on Friday night.

Nouwen argues that without 'the poverty of mind' our minds are filled with ideas, concepts, opinions, and convictions all of which prevent us from being a good host. He says, "there is NO space to listen, no openess to discover the GIFT of the other" (p. 103). Furthermore, a good host not only has to be poor in mind also poor in heart. Nouwen writes, "when our heart is filled with prejudices, worries, jealousies, there is a little room for the other" (p. 106). How often do we attend gatherings in which we mentally put those around us down, only seeing what we want to see? When we allow our fear and jealousies to dominate, they rob us of the gift of encountering the mystery of the very people we are trying to host.

Hospitality is not limited to a Friday night event- its a lifestyle- a posture of heart and mind. What makes a good host? Poverty. Less of us. More room for others. "Blessed are the poor...." (Matt 5).

The Black Smoke Monster

[James] For all of you who haven't become fans of the TV series Lost yet, the "Black Smoke Monster" was the enigmatic character that kept our curiosity peaked for several years. Recently Katie and I had a real life encounter with this figure that left its impression on us and our furnishings... 

Since we have moved in, our apartment has been uncomfortably warm. We first purchased a fan which seemed to do little but circulate stale air. We then called the physical plant office to ask if there was something that they could do. They came by a couple times, each visit resulting in turning our locked-thermostat down a couple degrees and leaving us with the promise of cooler temperatures. After these attempts I decided it was time to take measures into my own hands. I proceeded to remove the vent covers and washed them all in the bathtub. I then began removing the air filter that lead into our bedroom, at this a blast of dust, dirt, particles and smoke filled the room... the filter was in need of replacement. After replacing the filter and the recently cleaned vent covers the breeze coming through the ducts seemed to improve but only marginally. After another week of high temps and humidity Katie appealed to the powers at be for something to be done.

An HVAC specialist came out to our apartment and reported that he found that the damper in the main control room was stuck shut for our apartment. WE'RE NOT CRAZY! He opened it nice and wide which resulted in a second visit from the black smoke monster... this time our kitchen was left with a film of black dust and the bedroom was only partially scathed. Katie and I spent the next few hours vacuuming, swiffering, dusting and cleaning in order to get ready for the house tours last night. After all was said in done, our apartment is now cool, clean and crisp! We look forward to good rest and a comfortable climate here in our home.

I must say that I have been so incredibly impressed with Katie's patience in all of this. She has kept her cool through all of these changes and responsibilities. One might think that I would have been only an afterthought in light of all things "new" that have come our way. However, this is far from the case. It has been a joy to venture into all of this with her. Us being married has only seemed natural.

It seems that almost every night we find ourselves laughing together at all of the things that the past day had brought. We find ourselves being able to take ourselves and the other less seriously than in the past and yet this allows us to hold an even more sacred view of the other; a view that believes we are each less fragile and ashamed than we once believed and now growing more and more secure and honest.

Honesty with ourselves is like a dirty air air filter in the air ducts. No one wants to face it. I was struck by something the HVAC specialist said yesterday. "The problem is that you GRA's are only here for a year or two and then you leave. Most people can live with something for that length of time, or at least that's what the institution wants to believe." Well marriage, as it turns out doesn't work that way... sooner or later we need to take a look at our own smoke monsters, deal with them, laugh along the way and then enter into the rest and peace that comes with the renovation of the heart.

Having a Heart Engraved with a YES

In the last month…..

We got married (WHOOOO).

We moved from Minneapolis, MN to an apartment in the basement of Fischer Hall on Wheaton College’s campus in Illinois.

I started a new job in Residence Life.

We both will start Graduate School next week in the Christian Formation and Ministry program.

We are now living in community with 600 freshman and sophomore students.

A beautiful illustration of our new life rhythm in this community was our recent attempt at “date night.” After welcoming and checking in 400 first-year students, James and I decided to have a date night. A half hour into our date, the fire alarm started blaring and our date concluded with us standing outside along with 400 students and every fire truck around Wheaton.

If marriage doesn’t reveal how selfish you are, living in community with 600 college students absolutely will.

3 weeks into marriage, God is teaching us that while we desire to be a couple that is “available” to respond to the needs of others, our natural inclination is to isolate ourselves and engage in community only when its convenient for us. Furthermore, I’ve noticed that when I am “interrupted,” or invited to actually live out my value of “being available,” my heart’s first response is one of bitterness or resentment, instead of joy or gratitude.

God is inviting us to hold in tension living intentionally within our marriage AND being available to the needs of those we live in community with. While time set a part for a date night is absolutely important, I am being challenged to consider how I can intentionally pursue James throughout the day (making him coffee….leaving a note in the morning..) rather than waiting for a scheduled period of time. Furthermore, I am constantly reminded throughout the day that our marriage isn’t just for US….its created to be a vessel for the God to move through to love others…..during freshman orientation…..and FIRE DRILLS. My heart’s response to these interruptions is what matters.

My prayer this year is that we can continue to be a couple that has a YES engraved on our hearts…a YES to be further transformed into Christ likeness through dying to our selfishness….a YES to be available to the students around us….and a YES to learn how to live intentionally in our marriage while living in community.


Be Blessed,

Katie & James

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