Poverty: Reflections on Hospitality

(Katie) Today for Sabbath, James suggested that we bike to Adams' park in downtown Wheaton, bring a blanket, and a backpack full of books... spend some time together in silence, basking in the rays and the wisdom of our favorite authors. (His suggestion is yet another example of why marrying James was the best decision of my life). Immediately, I raced to get my pile of books....Henri Nouwen...Anne Lamott, and some Wendell Berry. I absolutely love dabbling back and forth between three authors, processing three different voices, and finding connections.

So I am sitting on my blanket, next to my husband, in a beautiful refuge of a park, and naturally I grab for Nouwen who is a hero of mine.

The topic of hospitality was on my heart, specifically, the question of: What makes a good host? Narcissistically, am I a good host? This past Friday night James and I hosted all of the freshman living in Fischer Hall (all 400 rotated coming over) and naturally, I was still processing how I thought the night went.

 One of the reasons I love Nouwen is his impeccable timing. I open my book and read, "poverty makes a good host" (Inward Journey, p.103). I don't think I've read a more paradoxical statement. But, naturally, Nouwen expects me to respond to his statement this way and so he continues, "in order to be able to reach out to the other in freedom, two forms of poverty are very important, the poverty of mind and the poverty of heart" (p.103). Somehow, warm banana bread, French press, and a clean, well decorated living room did not make Nouwen's list...all of things that I was preoccupied with on Friday night.

Nouwen argues that without 'the poverty of mind' our minds are filled with ideas, concepts, opinions, and convictions all of which prevent us from being a good host. He says, "there is NO space to listen, no openess to discover the GIFT of the other" (p. 103). Furthermore, a good host not only has to be poor in mind also poor in heart. Nouwen writes, "when our heart is filled with prejudices, worries, jealousies, there is a little room for the other" (p. 106). How often do we attend gatherings in which we mentally put those around us down, only seeing what we want to see? When we allow our fear and jealousies to dominate, they rob us of the gift of encountering the mystery of the very people we are trying to host.

Hospitality is not limited to a Friday night event- its a lifestyle- a posture of heart and mind. What makes a good host? Poverty. Less of us. More room for others. "Blessed are the poor...." (Matt 5).