Breakdown on I90: Strength Made perfect in Weakness

(Katie)


Bronchitis is going around Fischer Hall, infecting several members of our residence life staff. The last two days I've been feeling really sick and very weak. I am supposed to run a 1/2 marathon on Sunday and so feeling physically exhausted after walking up the stairs is not exactly where I was hoping to be 3 days before the race. Today was jam packed with my first paper due for graduate school, two one-on-ones, a Senior staff meeting, my first RA Selection Committee Meeting, and my weekly IN night. As you can imagine, not the ideal day when your body would like to stay in bed and rest. While I wish I could say that I confessed my need for Jesus at the beginning of the day, I immediately went into pride mode, made my to-do list and started operating on what little strength I had. It wasn't until I was stuck in traffic on the freeway, trying to get back for my IN night that my head started throbbing, my eyes felt heavy, and I started crying uncontrolably. I had come to my end. I had nothing to give AND I needed to be present and available to students for the next 4 hours. I called James but he was still at work. I called my mom and immediately got her voicemail. I was about to dial my friend Rachel when I finally realized I needed to talk God (dugh). I started talking out loud to Jesus in between snot and tears and the first thing I heard when I finally took a breath was "are you too good for my grace? You do not have because you do not ask." Conviction. Then a verse came to mind, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." I repented of my pride. Why is it so hard for me to bring my needs immediately to the Lord? I immediately felt compelled to start boasting in my weakness...my physical exhaustion, my Spirit of discouragement, my fear of inadequacy....and then I started declaring that Christ's power would rest on me. I love that image. Something powerful happens when we declare God's Truth over our circumstances. His Word does not come back void. 


A phrase from one of my worship songs says, "And step by step You'll lead me, and I will learn to walk in Your ways....


And step by step, God led me through my IN night....gave me the strength to lead NightWatch Training, blessed me with some amazing conversations with Meredith & Leslie... gave me joy watching G-Cam and James bond, and filled me up by letting me rest in His presence during Bro/Sis worship with Isaac & Pam's floors. His yolk is easy and our burdens feel light when we surrender to Him and acknowledge our need.