Celebrating Marriage

(Katie) This past weekend, James and I went home to celebrate his dad's wedding. The wedding was very intimate (family only) and I loved watching all 6 children have an active role in some part of the ceremony. It was a beautiful celebration and union of two families. I was struck by a comment that the Deacon made in describing Lee and Karen's process in that "they worked hard, preparing for marriage" (not the wedding day). The Deacon was absolutely right in that Lee and Karen have showed an incredible commitment to one another as they've journeyed together through hard things. They've modeled for James and I the way in which I believe God desires us to respond when we are faced with hard things as this part of life is inevitable. My favorite part of their wedding was the dinner at Muffaletta's in St. Paul. James invited each couple to share one word of wisdom to the "newlyweds" that they've learned about marriage. Here were some of the answers:

• Don't be isolated, stay connected with community. Initiate having people over.
• Practice gratitude daily. Say thank you for the little ways that you partner serves you.
• Help each other to pursue one another's dreams, be FOR your partner in their aspirations and more committed to them fulfilling their dreams than they are.
• Be intentional to make your marriage a priority.
• Communicate, communicate, communicate.

I really saw God's grace in the midst of these answers being shared as it is evident that all 6 children, even though each are from a divorced family, are deeply committed to marriage. That is a miracle. 

One of my favorite quotes is that "marriage is not about our happiness, its about holiness." Marriage is hard work and it doesn't always feel good. Even though I've only been married 3 months, James holds up a mirror to me that I sometimes don't want to look at. I've never been more aware of my own selfishness. Dying to self hurts. Lee and Karen have modeled what it looks like to strive for holiness in marriage: to be open to refinement, even when its painful. I am grateful for their example and pray that we can learn to desire marriages that are holy!