Compassioning

(Katie) 

Prior to getting married and working in Residence Life, I would have told you that I am a compassionate, empathetic person. Even Stregnthsfinder confirmed it to be one of my top strengths. However, through taking Care and Counsel, struggling to enter into the suffering of some of my students, and being invited to look into the mirror that my husband holds up to me, I've learned that I am not that compassionate and I've lived 26 years of life without actually understanding what it means.

The word compassion generally evokes positive feelings. I like to think of myself as a compassionate person who is basically good, gentle, and understanding. I often assume that compassion is a natural human response to human suffering. 

The word compassion is derived from the Latin words pati and cum, which together mean "to suffer with." Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion.
  
God has gently revealed to me that I often resist entering actively into suffering with others. While I am initially willing to listen to others' pain and extend care, if the problem isn't quickly fixed, my natural response when confronted with pain is unfortunately anger instead of care, irritation instead of sympathy, and fury instead of compassion. Yuck! If compassion is actually entering into suffering, it becomes clear that something more is involved than a general kindness or tenderness. I think that when we are honest with ourselves, compassion is neither our central concern or our primary stance in life. Instead, we maintain a safe distance from others because we do not actually want to suffer with them.

     
 Where does this anger derive from? Nouwen suggests that this reaction comes from  the person who says, "When I can't do anything about it anyhow, why do you bother me with it." Confronted with human pain, the truth is that we are reminded of our powerlessness, in that we can't fix it. The reality of my powerlessness makes me feel offended and anger becomes my defense mechanism. 

How can we creatively respond to Jesus' call to be compassionate as your loving God is compassionate? How can we make God's compassion the basis and source of our lives?

I don't have any answers, just a couple reflections. First, I think we need to be reminded that becoming more sensitive, perceptive, and compassionate is not the outcome of our striving and hard work, but is the fruit of God's grace. Secondly, entering into suffering requires patience. True patience is not passive waiting. The Greek word for patience is hyomone which is translated as endurance, perseverance, and fortitude. Patience involves staying with it, living it through, listening carefully to what presents itself here and now. Patience is "the compassionate way that leads to the compassionate life" (Nouwen). Finally, although we often use compassion as an adjective or noun, we need to change our mindsets and start using it as a verb. We must  shift from being compassionate people to compassioning others. True compassion requires radical action and is always present tense! When I read Philippians 2, we see that our compassionate God in Jesus Christ divested himself from all distinctions and "became as we are" (v.6). Jesus did not stay in heaven removed from our suffering, but became us. He suffered our fears, uncertainties, and anxieties with us. Jesus gave up his privileged position and emptied himself. We are called to leave our privileged positions of comfort and enter into the suffering of others.