Fulfillment

(Katie) I LOVE Sabbath. My husband treated me to a breakfast date at Honey (see below)! I absolutely love the atmosphere and the food is amazing. It was wonderful to start the day off connecting with my husband over coffee and eggs. 

The last few weeks have been rich because I have seen the fulfillment of my heart's desires and prayers answered. I have desired to do college ministry ever since I was a sophomore in college. There were so many walks on the beach in Santa Barbara sharing with God about this deep desire....countless journal pages filled of prayers regarding this desire.....and 8 years of waiting and waiting and waiting on the Lord (still learning to develop patience).

Hebrews 13 says, "may He equip you with what you need for doing His will" (v.21). As I look back over my 8 year journey to arrive at seeing the fulfillment of this deep desire, I am in awe of God's faithfulness in knowing exactly how I needed to be equipped for this position. While getting a Master's degree in Student Affairs was an obvious component of the equipping, I never would have guessed that most of my training came through walking through a season of Depression, working through my issues of perfectionism, being humbled to learn my identity is not found in my external achievements, a painful breakup, struggling with vocation when Seminary wasn't the right fit, learning to walk in freedom from body image struggles...that all of these painful experiences have equipped me to enter into the suffering of college students and to be present to them. 

3 years ago, I applied for a residence life position right out of graduate school. Unfortunately, I did not have any experience in residence life and therefore, got my first NO. Although painful at the time, in retrospect, I am able to recognize that I would not have been able to authentically enter into the pain of college students as I lacked the personal experience. How can you have true compassion for students' anxiety about the future, when at the point, all of "my plans" had always worked out perfectly? How do you guide students on an internal journey in finding their identity as the Beloved when at that point, my external achievements were my primary source of confidence? Depression is a serious issue among college students today and until more recently, I would have had no idea how to faithfully companion someone in a darker season of life. 3 years ago, I struggled to believe that God actually knew the desires of my heart and that He had good plans for me. I just felt abandoned and rejected. 

Today, I can't stop thanking God for these experiences because He has used it all for good in that I am able to relate with the students that I am journeying with. I feel "qualified" for my job, not because I have a Master's degree, but because I am broken, have been broken, and know that I am desperate, utterly desperate for Jesus. My dependence on Christ is my greatest strength.

James and I have each made a list of 5 things that we are focusing on for 2011 and one of my mine is daily practicing gratitude. Its easier to thank God for past experiences once we have experienced how He uses them for good. However, if we believe that God makes all things work together for our good, why not praise Him in the moment for the closed doors, the NO's, and the humbling experiences?

I pray that God would give us eyes to see the ways that He chooses to equip us as He is a good God and is the Creator of our heart's deepest desires and therefore, takes great delight in fulfilling them!